'Tis the season for many things, and for musicians, it is the concert season. I have spent the better part of December rehearsing for, producing, participating in, and attending a variety of Christmas musical concert events. It seems that at each one, I was struck by the utter lack of common decency so many seem to display. There are things that we, as professionals and professionals- in- training, know about concert etiquette that we do not expect everyone to know. These are things such as not applauding between movements of multi-movement works, applauding after jazz solos within a work, applauding after big arias within an opera, etc. We understand that we need to educate our audiences in these matters, and we are happy to do so.
There are things, however, that we should be able to expect any person over the age of twelve to know about attending a public, non-sports event. In case you are one of those that missed out on common sense or just have never been taught proper concert manners, let me help you by giving you a few rules.
1) Please educate your young ones to appreciate good performances and how to behave during one. We want new audience members. We want young people to enjoy what we do. This falls on you, though. If you don't help them know how to behave, they will not learn. If you don't want to encourage proper behavior, please don't bring your young ones. We can't pay attention, YOU can't pay attention, if they are disruptive. Remember, people are not there to hear and see you and your child. We know you want to be there and don't want to miss anything, but if your little one is making a ruckus, please take them out.
2) Is your child performing? Great! Please know that it is NEVER polite or appropriate to wave at them and to expect them to wave back at you. Directors and teachers spend a great deal of time training these young musicians to perform professionally. You demean their work when you boil it down to "I see you!" Tell your child you will be there, supporting them from the audience. They will learn they can do it without you and they will learn to appropriately appreciate your support.
3) It is not appropriate, unless there is a health crisis and 911 needs to be dialed, to speak aloud-- even at a whisper-- during a performance. If your child (or neighbor) is talking to you, please do not talk back.
4) It is never appropriate for you to have your phone on during a concert or movie. Where have you people been who have not yet learned this?? I attended an Alabama Symphony concert at Alys-Stephens Center this year where not only did a woman's cell phone ring, but she ANSWERED IT AND HAD A CONVERSATION! -- Never, never appropriate.
5) It is never appropriate to allow your toddler to crawl around on the stage or in the area in front of the audience. This distracts everyone in the room, and it really is not fair to the performers who have worked hard to prepare the program. It truly does not matter how cute and adorable you think your child is. It does not matter if you believe this is keeping him/her quiet. Please, please, do not allow this.
6) Generally speaking, when attending a concert, unless you are among those performing, you should not strive to draw undue attention to yourself. I attended a standing-room-only concert last night, in an audience of over 3000 people, in which a woman not far from us was wearing a holiday-themed necklace that not only lit-up, but flashed in rhythm. It was not an enhancement to my experience, I assure you.
7) If you are attending a concert in which the performers have worked hard to prepare something wonderful for you, and you don't want to be there, fake it, or stay at home.
8) I would think your parents would have taught you this when you were a toddler, but please visit the restroom before the concert and/or during intermission. If you are among those who have a medical condition that requires you go more often, please sit in the back, near a door. I can't imagine that some of the people I noted going in and out multiple times during the hour-long concert I recently attended actually had good reason to be getting up and down.
9) Remember, people are there for the concert, not to hear or watch you. If you are MAKING NOISE and you are not one of the performers, STOP. Again, I truly do not know why anyone of the age of accountability or above does not know this. If you don't want to be there, please stay home.
10) We really mean it when we say NO FLASH PHOTOGRAPHY. It distracts the performers and the other audience members. Has it ever occurred to you that a camera flash illuminates objects a few feet from the camera. It will not light up the stage that is a football-field's length from you.
11) Finally, (and this is touchy), unless you are publicly invited by someone on stage to sing along, don't sing along. I hate to say this, but sometimes, even when the person on stage says, "~~And if you know the words, sing along," they don't really mean it. :-) Even if you have a lovely singing voice, it is not generally good manners for you to sing from the audience. If you feel the urge, and you haven't been invited by the performers, and especially if NO ONE ELSE seems to be singing, you should probably keep quiet. I hope I'm not offending you, but if you have trouble matching pitch, you should save your solo for the shower. (Bless Your Heart.)
I'm sure this is not an exhaustive list, but at least it gives you a good idea of what one expects from a polite audience member.
